Stay-at-Home-Mom vs. Working Mom- this debate is ongoing. You can find a million blogposts and articles on which job is harder. You can read Facebook statuses of working moms wishing they could stay at home because it would be so much easier and stay-at-hom moms who wish they could work. I have news for you: they are both hard.
Personally, I have tried it all: stay-at-home-mom, part-time working mom, and full time working mom. In all of these all circumstances I have had great days, so-so days, and some down right awful days. No situation is always glamorous. In fact, they are all difficult. They are all worth it. And being a mom is a blessing, not a burden (although sometimes it may feel like it).
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” – Psalm 1 27:3
Yesterday was a day I had thought, “It would be so much easier to work,” but then I remembered how I felt when I worked outside of the home.
By 9:00am I had nursed Max and changed two poopy diapers- one from each child. It was only 9am and I had already dealt with several tantrums.
“Banana for breakfast?” “Yes.” Two minutes later, a tantrum.
“Oatmeal for breakfast?” “Yay, Mommy.” Two bites later and it becomes finger paint all over the kitchen table.
As I am cleaning up the uneaten breakfast and the big mess to look over and see my toddler reorganizing the pantry. I say to myself, “redirect her, redirect her.” I listen to my self talk and redirect by shutting the door and getting excited about coloring. Somewhere from the pantry to where the markers and coloring books are stored another meltdown occurs. We go on with our morning, diaper changes, meltdowns, messes and a few happy songs in between.
The time comes and it is now time for Max to nurse. I get out the stickers (usually good nursing entertainment) and go about nursing my son. I then turned my head to see the foot rest of the brand new cream recliner is out and someone also found a blue pen and is writing on it. I panic and yell, “No, Claire, no!” This naturally makes the pen become faster and darker. Quickly I pull Max off the boob and go rescue the pen (and my recliner). Claire goes to time-out while I “google” pen remedies. Faster than google, I need a Facebook post. Afterall, timeout is only two minutes. As I beginning to try to clean I hear, “Mommy-look” and my toddler is climbing up the back of her “time out chair” as it is a ladder. Now I need a darn new place for timeout- just add that to my to-do list, please.
Facebook successful, I find a solution for the pen, I am cleaning up and look over to see her consoling her little brother on his play mat. She then pushes the baby swing over by him, hops in it and reads him Bible stories. I immediately forget about all that went wrong this morning and recite this verse again:
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” – Psalm 1 27:3
It is a blessing to be a mother: a stay-at-home mom or a working mom. Whatever the words you use before the word “mom”, there are good and bad days for all of us. There are moments when I think, “I have a masters degree and I choose to spend my days changing well over ten diapers, wiping noses and going from pajamas to workout clothes back to unglamorous lounge clothes. There are days when the working mom wishes she could still be in her pajamas and changing diapers. There are days when my heart aches for some scholarly conversation. There are days when the working mom would rather sing nursery rhymes and call out colors and shapes. There are days when I miss talking test scores, instructional practices and 90-minute reading blocks (ahhh, my love for literacy).
Whether you work or stay at home, there will always be days you will wonder if it would be easier to do the other. What I know is this: they are both hard, important jobs. And trust me, the grass is the same color on both sides.
God has entrusted each of us to mother His children. It is an important responsibility. It is time to stop the debate and join hands because not one is easier, they are both hard. We all need the support of our peers to encourage, guide and laugh with us through this journey.
Love this post! I’d consider myself a “stay at home working Mommy” and while I love this role and feel absolutely blessed that I have gotten to stay home with my kids (and recently actually earn an income while at home – bonus!) I agree, though, there are days when I’d give anything to “dress up” and be among adults ALL DAY. When I worked in the corporate world as a marketing manager it wasn’t exactly the work that I loved – – it was more the people I worked with! is that bad to say? You get SO close with your co-workers that I sometimes miss those relationships. That said, the gym is now my “go to” place for social interaction each day. When I don’t see my workout friends daily, I turn into a big grump! I think every type of mom needs that kind of social interaction on a daily basis – – !!! That all said – I truly love my job as a mom & since is my last year with a kiddo at home with me during the day (my youngest going to kindergarten next year), I’m learning to truly cherish each and every moment because it all goes so fast!!!
I can say I am completely thankful to be able to afford to stay at home with my almost 2 yr old and soon to be newborn in December! I could not imagine being on an exact time schedule and having to wake up at the same time everyday or wake my kiddos up to take to a sitter. I am mom, that’s my job. Is it glamourous…not really, but amazing at that! And Hollie really, going from pjs to yoga/workout clothes is my dress up 🙂 I wonder some days if my husband is like wow woman do something with yourself…I have at least started putting mascara on everyday 🙂
I always wanted to be a stay at home mom since I was a little girl. That’s what my mom did, and though the majority of other moms I knew worked, I guess I never got to see what they’re world was like, but I saw my mom’s from my perspective. She was always there for us kids and my dad. I never had to worry about anything and new she was always there to help us, I wanted that for my family, when I eventually had one. But until those blessings came, I had to work, so I decided to become a teacher. What I didn’t realize at the time how much my education and especially my experiences as a teacher would prepare me and help me be a better parent. I do feel a little guilty at times knowing how much was spent on my education when I knew all along I would be a stay at home mom eventually. If I was thinking smarter I would have taken more classes on early childhood development. 🙂 But overall my being a stay at home mom is how I use my talents and fulfill my place in society. We can’t all be one or the other. As a stay at home mom I am able to help watch other kids whose moms go to work, And where does that mom work, at the grocery store where me and others go to buy our food, or at the family services center where they teach my daughter at play and learn classes for free, or as a nurse at the ER where I may have to go cause I just burnt my hand on a hot pan making lunch for my daughter. 🙂 I mean when I meet these ladies and hear abt their kids, I don’t think, oh if only they stayed home like me, I act. think, those kids must be lucky since their mom is so talented/skilled. esp. since I know they have to still go home and do all the same stuff I do. But also as a stay at home mom/wife, I have time to make my husband all meals, and even send stuff into work for the co-workers. Or I make extra things and share w/ the neighbors. I schedule time in my day to go on social media and share w/ other moms, like this :), and help support one another. If our friends’ kids are sick from school, I can go pick her up so her parents don’t have to leave work. We all have our place, and they are all important. As the song goes: (also from scripture) We are many parts, we are all one body. And the gifts we have, we are given to share. 🙂 So maybe we need to take some time out of our day and say thank you to the moms we encounter each day, And remember that we are blessed to be moms at all, and not everyone has received such a blessing.
spelling error:
their-sorry 🙂